{ split subject }

I seriously just jotted down this recent roadtrip conversation on a sticky note in 2 minutes, so I figured I might as well post it here (the ongoing official LJ hiatus notwithstanding), along with a few other fannish tidbits I should share.

It came in the aftermath of watching the trailer for the new BSG spinoff Caprica[!], which is SO LOLARIOUSLY BAD that it boggles the mind. THE CYLONS WERE CREATED BY MAN: TO CURE THEIR MANPAIN! This is potentially good for me, time management wise, because if the trailer is any indication the show may actually be too unappealing for me to even sit through, much less get excited about -- despite the enticing presence of my faves Atia and Trixie portraying Wife #1 and Wife #2.

Anyway, my roadtrip buddy asked me to define "manpain":
Angst about how hard it is to be a straight white man. Straight white men have lots of big important responsibilities, like saving the world and protecting ladies and children. The great weight of these responsibilities hurts them in their deep and delicate souls.

This definition is moreover, I think, a good rationalization of why manpain annoys me on on male but not on female characters. When women (Kara Thrace or Sarah Cameron, for example) can be characterized as exhibiting manpain, it's because THEY have lots of big important responsibilities, like saving the world and protecting ladies and children, and that's actually kinda cool.

What's NOT cool is, in pirateygoodness's words, "a show entirely about boys and the wives and/or daughters that occasionally show up to make them furrow their brows":


Also:

1. I've had almost no time to work on my LATE hot_toaster ficathon story, which I originally intended to start in late June. This in itself is a perfect testament to all the ways that the current rhythm of my life supports making vids and multimedia crack but not real fic writing. I'm determined clear part of this week to finish a draft, though.

2. Despite being so undeserving, I received the stunning Hybrid POV Cyloncest fic lab'ring to discharge an active heat from tellitslant!

3. I have an actual plane ticket to vividcon (Thursday-Monday) -- though I still may not get into the con proper.

4. I have two vid reviews posts planned for cyborganize in anticipation -- one all BSG -- but in the meantime let me point you to heyiya's articulate and flattering notes about some projects she, I, and beccatoria have finished recently.

5. In case you haven't heard, there's an epic wankstorm in progress -- suffice it to say that FanHistorydotcom is bad, and you should support the OTW's upcoming wiki instead.

new in projectjulie:
• mandysbitch asks me: Who the F**K Are You? in an elaborate interview about my fannish orientation, wherein you can learn more than you ever wanted to know about fictocriticism, girlslash goggles, and doppelcest...
• Laura and Tory have smokin' hot sex: the sequel! plus, one week till part three (which I might have accidentally written a complete 2000+ word draft of in a single afternoon -- who are you and what have you done with julie!?).
• an ultimately rather perfunctory meta post about gender and femslash that's been on my list for quite a while but for some unknown reason got written today.

as enamored as I am of OTP 2.0, I secretly love how the sheer size of bsg_femslash's Kara/Laura tag gives the statistical lie to our talk of this being an ensemble rather than OTP-based fandom. 81 uses, with Laura/Tory, Laura/Maya, and Laura/Six tied for second-place pairing with 15 or 16. take that, Starbuck!

and it makes me reminisce about how we got here. yeah, for a minute we were all aflutter about the prospect of becoming a Major Femslash Fandom, and maybe in the end that didn't materialize. but it will always be *my* major femslash fandom, top to bottom, start to closed canon (the point when I finish passing the torch, or whenever I complete the season 4 fic that I really hope I won't be compelled to write). in the beginning (through mid-2005, we're talking) there were the trailblazers, like meeshy who created the comm and yahoogroup and minerva_fan who introduced us to our OTP and others who've been faithful supporters all along (jennyo, tellitslant, sheepfairy, ariestess and shatterpath). in the middle, there were my people (including thenewhope, queen wrangler of femslashers), who called ourselves the Quorum of Five, which has since largely disintegrated in ways that I mourn, and in other ways deepened into friendships that are no longer necessarily or primarily about BSG femslash.

and then a funny thing happened: I don't know where these folks came from or how they got here, but all of a sudden there was this whole new generation of baby BSG femslashers around! and they pimped and betaed and squeed at and sometimes fell in love with each other, and really built a community. it makes me all flaily-happy, so I'm going to attempt to introduce you. ( Read more... )

if this made you too feel all warm and fuzzy inside, consider writing something for the Season Three Battle or helping del.icio.us the masterlist...

as a footnote, I wish I'd done a similar catalogue of SVU fandom back in the day (or did I? I know I made heathers chronicle me the oral history, pre-2004). it was my glorious first LJ fandom, and left a hole in my heart when it met its untimely demise. R.I.P. Olivia Benson! it dawned on me, recently, that I need to disabuse myself of my notions of being a femslash fandom BNF expert. ralst has taken livejournal by storm, more power to her, and I have the utmost respect for the work she's put into passion_perfect, turning it into an empire unto itself and the engine behind the static archive. P&P has picked up where SVU left off (partly by dissipating and partly by veering off into more obscure shows), not with all the same people but with all the delightful snark. that's gotta be the mainstream of femslash, insofar as there is one, and I'm not participating in the comm even as a lurker. it's so obviously not ME -- not the fandoms, not the writing style, not the approach. I guess I'm at peace with being what theholyinnocent calls a pretentious twat? it just worries me, with this dissertation, that the things that make a lot of femslash meaningful are alien to me (though I can, you know, understand them, just not organically -- and I still love a good lesbian romance novel, for the record, it's just that I never read them anymore).

and finally, you guys! BEST. SEQUEL. EVER. seriously, I squealed like a little girl during the preview at The Invasion. I might spontaneously combust when the movie comes out! (I was an Elizabethan fangirl first.)

i. I'm DONE with school (as of last friday). no more pencils, no more books (most importantly, no more GR4D1NG) for the next year (probably two) of fellowship funding. bring it on.

ii. clyde_man landed hir dream job. it's in D.C., with a far hipper company than these financial drones she's been stuck with for 20 years. this is, seriously, beyond our wildest expectations of what could come of leaving the previous clusterfuck. like kismet. but much as I said I was ready, much as this scenario makes everything far less complicated, it never seemed like leaving NY(J)C was a realistic possibility. and now, all of a sudden, it's happening. we're driving to Jersey tomorrow to pack up my stuff there and say goodbye. tuesday we're continuing on to Providence. I know it's short notice, but if anyone wants to take a ride on the PATH train to hang out with us tomorrow night, you're welcome. dinner at Sushi Tango! tea and ice cream!

iii. as soon as this iron went into the fire, I realized that NYC had been a major oversight in my summer planning. I mean, I subliminally expected that I'd be returning to the city when I leave LA at an undetermined date in august. eep! so now I'm going to try to squeeze in a visit from june 10-14, approximately. I have a plane ticket from Providence to Michigan for june 15, which in retrospect is a terrible arrangement (I could have flown from Newark, and stayed longer!). but now I'm stuck with it. so this will be a whirlwind trip devoted entirely to catching up with friends -- pencil me in, stay tuned, give a shout, etc.

iv. the rest of the schedule: clyde will be in Providence helping me pack until friday. memorial day weekend I'm visiting my grandparents. then lucky (clyde's partner!) is coming to town to finish up the packing and help with the move itself on june 2, because clyde will have started the new job (and can't carry things with hir bad back anyway). this intra-familial delegation was her idea -- so adorable! we are completely Bill and Barb and Margie.

v. apparently lucky and clyde are going to Burning Man at the end of august: anybody interested in taking me? and the boston dyke march is on june 8 (6pm) -- be there or be square!

vi. I have no number vi. mostly just my perpetual battle with time, how unlimited projects lie in wait for me inside my computer and out there in the world. I don't seem to be able to prevent myself (especially while grading, writing) from joining ficathons and redesigning layouts and playing with new gadgets (that's a "lifestream": one-stop shopping for everything I post everywhere [excluding fanfic]). speaking of which, if you've joined twitter and I haven't added you yet, give me a holler.

vii. there was a moment, as I schlepped through the Denver airport, when the architecture of taking a break from lj was actually comprehensible. I know, intellectually, that my current involvement in fandom and internet life isn't sustainable long term, but most of the time the prospect of not participating at this level seems unimaginable. lj has been a source of so much stress and anxiety for me in recent months, though, and in that brief flash in transit I could SEE the relief (of a drastic unfriending and a break from fanfic) stretching before me. writing my diss about fandom creates a sort of hilarious catch 22, however, because I can't very well de-engage with my object of study! a year from now, when I'll have hopefully finished my case studies, I'm going to re-evaluate my status.

viii. speaking of fandom stress, I followed thassalia into the fray at Denis McGrath's blog. why did I do that?? he's a friend of FL, so I suppose I felt some responsibility to raise the level of debate. anyway, my comments (down at the bottom) are clearly informed by recent MiT5-y conversations with theorynut, cathexys, et al. go team acafangirl! I had this realization, by the way, that the reason I'm not blogging publicly and making myself visible like the fanboys is that I'd rather devote that energy to WRITING FIC.

ix. the girls of Shoemoney Haus are living three of my alternate lives, and it just fills me with flaily pride. I hate that I've been away since january.

x. that meme: I asked for icons and interests from the first five folks to cross my flist. shout if you want me to pick for you!

for, in order, ana_grrl, pocketwitch, annakovsky, tellitslant, and wearemany:

( words & squares )

I've been wondering lately how the circuit of communication between media producers and fan producers functions.

( teh meta )

To this end, a project!

wetheaudience.org ~ WE ARE WATCHING
P2P (Producer to Producer) Postcards

- it's distantly related to what was originally this rant
- its aim is to continue working through these issues conceptually, more than to create a fully functional interface for fan/media communication and advocacy
- it's a final project proposal for open source culture, and as such may not get selected to be produced by the class -- I'll keep you posted

overview

Ever wish you could say something along the lines of "We're here, we're fans, get used to it!" to mass media producers? Let's assert that they're the ones who create the source texts, but we're the ones who create WITH them. Now you can send YOUR fanworks directly to the corporate conglomerates, with YOUR your love letters or hatemail attached!

( specs )

eta: TABLE OF CONTENTS (by popular demand)

1. my attempt to rationalize my addiction to this show
3. girlslash meta roundup (excerpts from comments elsewhere)
4. Lay Down Your Burdens: audio chronicle (squee!!!)
5. Lay Down Your Burdens: episode reaction (critique) [SPOILERS]
9. my fanletter to Toni Graphia
12. watch my videoblog fanvid! (outside link)
(the rest of the 13 [get it, 13??] items aren't as important)

1. it frightens me a little how enmeshed I am with Battlestar Galactica. mom observes, "this is addictive behavior" (at least it's only metaphorical crack, mom), and _plasticity_ has been saying "I'm going to stage an intervention." so I've been doing some serious analysis of why, after more than 10 years of chronic TV obsession, it's now, with this show, that I've come to find myself in such a state. in the process, I've developed a personal rubric of TV pleasure, divided into three registers:

libidinal pleasure: most succinctly, I experience this when I fall desperately in love with one or more of the female characters
narrative pleasure: generated by a show's production values, especially smart writing and continuity, but also acting, mise-en-scene, editing
intellectual pleasure: evidenced when I'm inspired to write a paper

my major fandoms have all satisfied me libidinally (this is the condition of fannishness, for me) and also in one of the other modes (intellectually in the case of Voyager and SVU, which presented fascinating discourses but were pretty bad quality-wise; narratively in the case of The West Wing [X-Files too?], which was of course a smart show, but more as a liberal fantasy of than a critical engagement with politics [I did write one paper about it, but only on the mockumentary ep]). then there are the onesies: the fandoms I dabble in (libidinal), the shows I enjoy watching (narrative), the shows (say, reality TV) that make me think (intellectual). BSG is, however, quite possibly the first one I've found that activates my pleasure centers on all three levels, which could account for the intensity of my attachment to it. (this is my attempt at a more complex and personal explanation than "it's the greatest show ever made!!" which I don't think is exactly true.)

then again, there's another possible account. I came to all my previous fandoms fairly late in the game. they were all well-established, and I lurked reading fic or made a modest contribution here and there. SVU, my first LJ fandom, I did become very integrated into, over time (until the show imploded and everyone jumped ship). but Battlestar Galactica is the first one where I got in relatively early. I started watching it, I guess, at the beginning of 2005? on 09 march 2005 ("at the behest of mazily and others" -- I looked it up). I made the femslash masterlist last august. it's tremendously thrilling and seductive to feel like I'm participating in a community-building process, however modest (by which I mean the BSG girlslash community). the absurd amounts of time I've spent bribing fic from people, commenting on it and archiving it, writing about the show and pimping people into it is profoundly satisfying because I can see the payoff -- especially as the momentum has picked up in the second half of season 2. we're building something beautiful!

2. and speaking of pimping, let me know if you need help getting your hands on episodes (also you could ask bsg_episodes). YOU MUST WATCH! *does mind control*

3. this is also an occasion for a meta roundup, since my more extensive thinky thoughts lately have been in comments to jennyo (my posts here have been more of the order of "GUH" and "squee!" and "o_0!"). here's a list of her BSG girlslash posts (plus my table of d00m which I already linked to). in particluar:

( excerpts, not spoilery )

probably I've written a whole bunch of other unarchivable stuff, mostly about Roslin, in comments on her fic. but those are the main parts, lately.

4. and now, from the general to the particular. for your entertainment, I chronicled my finale-watching experience in audio (via phoneposting), with cameos by _plasticity_ and coffeejunkii [major spoilers, obviously, and swearing]: I decided I needed to be drunk // (wherein we're misinformed and wrong about everything) // it was definitely a Part One // AAAAAAHHHDFHGFJHGSHGSDFHGHHH* // I'm SO within the circuit of capitalism right now

* I don't, in fact, need to be institutionalized. I swear.

5. _plasticity_ and coffeejunkii stayed until nearly one a.m. so we could continue debriefing the episode (among other things). so now that I've shared the onslaught of SQUEE, I'm going to tell you the other side of the story (I'm having a strangely schizophrenic reaction, and can understand why responses are apparently polarized). ( spoilers ) so in conclusion: yes, a spectacular season finale, but at what cost? I guess in October we'll see if they knew what they were doing or not.

( eta: fascism )

6. I'm not normally a repeat TV-watcher, but for all these reasons, I'm going to have to see this one a few more times to fully parse everything that happened (and, because I was drunk??). I also plan to rewatch everything with podcasts over the summer.

7. if you're not jennyo or coffeejunkii and you have a finale reaction/discussion post, could you toss me a link? I have a general policy of not sifting through such posts across fandom at large (even the ones that have been turning up on metafandom) because I don't have time. but I'd happily do so by request.

8. a friend asked me: "I support Roslin: does that make me a Republican?" my facetious response was "no, that makes you a lesbian!" -- because if the Republicans ever ran a woman that HOT I'd certainly be tempted to vote for her, just so I could watch her on TV for the next four years. but I thought it was an interesting question, my serious answer being "no, because nothing in BSG maps onto contemporary politics in black and white." I love this thought-provoking, often deeply troubling complexity.

9. I was concerned that I'd have such a violent reaction to the upheaval that I wouldn't be able to finish my fanletter. but no, it wasn't that sort of violence. so here it is, the draft of my letter to Toni Graphia, third in command of BSG (dude, do you think this random woman [HOLDING HANDS WITH MM *dies*] is her??). I invite feedback, though I don't promise to heed it -- as a fanletter this is deeply personal (and in fact, deeply embarrassing -- the last time I wrote a fanletter I was 15 years old!). I'm going to let it percolate for a week or so and then send it (to the Vancouver production address). eta: sent! oy. to the Universal TV LA address. [I whited out the spoilers in this (highlight the text to read it), so from here down to the end of the post you're safe. unless you're NOT reading it on a white background.]

( wherein there are too many adjectives )

10. and can I also just give some props to the actors for being so delightfully SMART, which is a rare experience in TV spectatorship. you have to read what Mary McDonnell says because she's so frakking stunning (I'm in love). but most all of them give the sense that they're on top of their characters and ready to go to the mat to advocate for them (and thus, for us). (thanks to aeonian, I have the MTR Paley panel mp3, so let me know if you need to hear MM's SEXY voice.)

11. captain_sam and I have decreed that there MUST be a crackfic BSG/L Word xover, because the Vancouver crossover casting simply demands it. Tigh = Dana's homophobic dad, Leoben = Helena's straight lover's parter and co-conspirator, I swear Kat was the pilot briefly as one of Shane's conquests, and (this is the BEST one) Maya Babymama = Alice's kinky vampire girlfriend (who else am I forgetting?). get on it, people!

12. I was going to wait to post this until I finished my fanvid, but I'm far too impatient. check galactica_vids (look for cyborganize) on wednesday if you want to see it. eta: here it is!

13. phew! that took all weekend. I'm actually quite relieved at the prospect of a 7-month hiatus, because I need some space to deinvest and, you know, maybe do some homework. if all goes as planned, I've hereby purged the more extreme obsessiveness from my system and this is the last you'll hear about BSG from me for a long while. except at getyourtoaster (where 7 months is barely enough time to scratch the surface of all the hot lesbian sex that's afoot).

meeting virtual friends v. 2.0

eeeeeee, I met kellychambliss and boadicea for the first time! it was glorious. (mandysbitch, how jealous are you?! we talked about you...) well, I already knew they are brilliant, but also they are just delightful and gorgeous and my total RL OTP. there is something about fandom people that warms the cockles of my little heart.

I forced them (along with everyone else I've been to talking to lately) to discuss my

meta bunny

(if there is such a thing. I have one that just won't die.)

Being a West Wing and SVU fan has been difficult lately. Having two shows in S.6 (aka the SeasonofDoooooooom!) simultaneously does not bode well for my sanity. I am far more consumed with my anger than I should be (when Voyager got crappy in S.6 I took it in stride, you know? the contrived C/7 subplot didn't make me feel like I needed to storm the castle -- perhaps because the J/7 OTP is so obviously untouchable). Basically, all I have managed to do is confuse myself, so I have no brilliant conclusions to offer you here. But I'd like to collect my thoughts. Here's what I know:

( Faith Based Initiative [spoilers] )

( Olivia and Serena [spoilers] )

What do you think -- why are we so upset when the heterosexuality of characters like CJ and Olivia is asserted??

( the audience is watching you )